3 Month Post Partum Update

Ever since Leo was born I’ve been taking life one day at a time. 101 days later and here we are. Leo is a few days over 3 months old.

Before I share how life has been for me since Leo arrived, I need y’all to understand some bits and pieces of my personality. I can be fiercely independent and stubborn and very rarely will ask for help. Those can be great qualities but when you’re in a marriage and have a forever teammate, that can make your spouse not feel needed and like you know it all. For me, I move so fast into post-partum life that it is easy to forget that I just had a baby but it’s important to remember what I’ve been through and to give myself grace during this post-partum season.

@_tamanda asked me on instagram how my c-section recovery has been? My c-section recovery this time around was different than when I had Jax. I reacted to the anesthesia and hours following my surgery was violently throwing up for hours. Thankfully my pain meds had not worn off yet and I didn’t feel any of the pain while I was sitting up over and over vomiting. The day after was a different story. I was sore. Not really in pain but my muscles for sure had gotten a workout and I could feel it. Because this was my second c-section I knew the faster I could get up and walk the better I would feel. I was up and walking as soon as I could keep some crackers and fluids down. Since Leo was admitted to the NICU I was able to walk slowly down there almost every 3 hours. The more I walked the better I felt!

As I went home there really wasn’t much stopping me physically. I was still bleeding and continued to bleed for about 5 weeks. (and then started bleeding again… my period made an early appearance at 6 weeks post-partum) However, the pain from my c-section was pretty minimal. I accredit the Nyssa chones to that, having a supportive undergarment can be a game changer! I did limit how much I picked up Jax for the first week or so and since he had just had a small surgery he knew the concept of having a “bandaid.” I told him mama had a bandaid and he needed to be very careful. My gauze was removed 10 days after my c-section and my incision healed very well! Once again, I continued to rock the Nyssa panty (and still am y’all)!

Emotionally I am pretty even keeled. Fabian might say something different! (hah!) Of course not being able to take Leo home with us from the hospital was rough! I cried a lot. But once our family of four was together I don’t feel like I had any big emotional highs or lows. I am always a little emotional. When there are moments that I get overwhelmed with both boys during the day I do my best to step away safely for a minute and just breath. And real talk… lock myself in the restroom if I need to. I do my best to always communicate my feelings with Fabian even if it’s through a bunch of tears. Like I said, I am just naturally emotional. @jewelsm22 asked me on instagram if I have suffered from any type of depression and I can honestly say, no. I have moments like I said where I can get overwhelmed but post-partum depression is something that I have not suffered from.

Physically, I am working on getting the extra pregnancy weight off. When I got pregnant with Leo I was still holding onto 17lbs of pregnancy weight from Jax. So although I didn’t gain as much with Leo (52lbs) as I did with Jax (80lbs), I still ended up at a number that is physically uncomfortable for me at my 5'5” frame. This time around though I knew to give myself a whole bunch of grace in this area. With Jax I started “dieting” right away and emotionally it was too much for me and it depleted my milk supply. With Leo I gave myself 2 months before I started focussing on losing the extra weight. I told Fabian that I didn’t want to destroy my milk supply again but my milk went away on it’s own this time. It was a bittersweet thing but at least I knew I did everything in my power to keep the milk flowing. Once I got through the holidays, I started 2020 with a Whole30. This way of eating is perfect for my body. It gives me the energy I need to keep up with my family and also helps me rest properly. And it’s also helped me shed 20lbs of pregnancy weight. I plan to continue this way of eating throughout February and basically turn it into my lifestyle!

@mleneej asked me on Instagram to talk about- Breastfeeding vs. Formula: Y’all, I am a mama who believes fed is fed. I also believe that if breastfeeding is causing you stress, anxiety, and pain than you do what you need to do to make yourself as the mama comfortable. The pressure to be a breastfeeding mama is REAL. But don’t let it get to you, if you feel in your heart that you need to stop than stop. There is nothing wrong with a formula fed baby! Ok… rant over… because Leo was admitted to the NICU he received donor milk until he was able to latch about 3 days after birth. In the meantime I was pumping at the hospital to help my milk come in. Once I went home I continued to pump and my milk came in about a week after Leo was born. I don’t make a lot, about 2oz total but I was determined to breastfeed but just like with Jax we needed to supplement with formula because I wasn’t making enough for my growing boy. And like I said earlier, on it’s own my milk went away at around 2.5 months. While I was breastfeeding I was taking brewers yeast supplements to help. Honestly for me, there was a small difference in supply but not a significant difference. Now Leo is 100% formula fed. We were giving him Similac Pro Advance but just recently switched to Target’s version of Pro Advance and have not had any issues. He also uses Dr Browns bottles, which are a pain to clean but they are the best!

@perla_mendez asked me on Instagram about Post-partum hair loss. For me it looks like more shedding and more baby hairs sprouting on my part. I also have these two little whispy pieces right at the front that just broke off and now are too short to even tuck behind my ears. I am taking biotin to help with my hair and rinsing with cool water after each wash. I do my best not to comb wet hair and wait until it’s air dried. I find that less hair falls out this way. And another little trick I do is to change where I part my hair, it helps with hiding the baby hairs. Another cheap product to help with the baby hairs and fly-aways… elf clear mascara!

@jsamaniego84 asked on instagram how Leo was sleeping at night! When Leo first came home he was giving me 4 hours stretches at night between bottles. That didn’t last long! Leo goes down for bed around 10:30/11. He will wake up at 3:30/4am for his first nighttime bottle and go directly back down to sleep. He wake up again around 6:30-7am for his next bottle, he normally doesn’t finish this one. And once again goes directly back to sleep until around 9am when Jax wakes up! He sleeps in a bassinet next to our bed. And right now he is sleeping in a sleep sack with his arms still swaddled in.

@mirandapaigeriley asked me on instagram how my sex drive is at 3 months post partum… and y’all know I keep things real so if this question makes you squirm than exit now. Honestly, when it’s there I take advantage of it but it does come and go. The majority of us women need our emotion connection to be fulfilled before we can fully get in the mood. For me, keeping the connection strong between my husband and I is hard during this season of life. We haven’t gone on an official date yet and as much as I preach, marriage first… right now for us we’re in a transition season where our marriage hasn’t been a priority. Another thing that can effect this for me is how I am feeling about my body physically! Things are just all floppy and when you’re being intimate with your spouse it’s not the greatest feeling and when I was breastfeeding I didn’t want to be touched, it hurt, and it felt awkward to me or even worse I started leaking everywhere! If you’re a mama going through this post partum season and having a hard time navigating your love life I would just say, give yourself grace and communicate with your spouse about how you’re feeling. If you need to go on a date to emotionally connect, do it! If you need the lights off because you’re a little insecure about your post partum body, do it. Have your spouse get on the same page with you and trust me… you will connect!

As I move into the next few months I plan to continue to work on my body physically while still working on giving myself grace through this process. Like I said, it’s really easy for me to forget that I had a baby. I plan to put my marriage back at the top and that means more date nights, more time just for Fabian and I to connect. I am getting back into the world and remembering to do things for me. Aint no mama guilt here!