Relationship Prep 101


When Fabian and I were dating we both asked each other a whole lotta questions. You know, questions like "do you want a dog" or "do you squeeze the toothpaste from the middle?" We asked each other about future children, church, traveling, and spending habits. We talked about our leadership roles in the household and what they would look like when it came to chores, cooking, and taking the garbage out. We even talked about grocery shopping and how that would look in our relationship. (our first experience grocery shopping together was hilarious)

I even went as far as asking him about parenting. I would see a scenario in the mall and ask him how would he react and handle that situation if he were the dad. Right from the beginning we both wanted to know what we were getting ourselves into and understand that, if this is for the long haul we wanted it to be right. Well, there is one thing we didn't cover. Sickness.

The end of the year our home got hit with sickness and it was our first real time navigating it together as husband and wife. Disclaimer, you can't plan for everything and really you don't want to because life is supposed to be spontaneous. However, planning for a scenario like sickness could've helped us. There were arguments and a couple nights with someone on the couch. A lot of it stemmed from frustration and lack of compassion. But here is what we learned. Also, these lessons can be applied to any and all relationship moments.

You're a team for a reason. When someone is tapped out, the other person needs to tap in and lead the team. Let them.

When all else fails, try the other person's way. This is hard in any circumstance because each of us has a particular way of doing things and we also think that our way is the best way. But sometimes our way just doesn't seem to be working.

Grace, more grace, and compassion. A simple, "I am so sorry." can go a long way in an escalated situation. Phrases like, "what can I do to help" or "do you need anything" need to be your best friends.

Be Open.  An open mindset, open heart, and open communication are necessary when understanding another person, especially when you vow to do life together forever. 

Remember that this too shall pass. Seasons all change and life takes us on this roller coaster ride that can leave us full of excitement or incredibly nauseous. Remember that each moment will pass and work through it one day at a time.