Letters to Our First Born
June 17, 2107 you entered the world via c-section at 7:37am. You were 9lbs and 2oz and 20 and a half inches long. You were so big mama couldn't push you out.
You are exactly the son I dreamed I would have and even before I found out we were having a son, I just somehow knew you were the one growing inside of me. You have that adorable chin dimple that was an answer to my prayer. It comes from my side of the family and it's a trait that has been passed down from many generations. You have a head full of curls that is by far your most complimented feature. You get those curls from both of your parents. You have your papi's love for people and even when you were little you never had a stranger danger phase. You would go in any set of welcome arms with a smile on your face.
Love, I hope that we are teaching you how to love like God loves. I want you to learn that love from the way we love you and the way you see us love others. We won’t always get it right and neither will you. But just know that we love you a whole lot and God’s love for you will always be perfect. I hope that as you grow you continue to pursue what you love with a passion. You’re already so stinking smart, musical, and because of your Papi, you’ve got a solid handle on the drumsticks. Even being as little as you are I see a great future ahead for you.
Remember that God’s plans for your life can far exceed what you may have planned for yourself. Let Him guide your steps and talk to him everyday. Especially on the days when you can’t talk to me. You will always be our first born, our perfect gift from our gracious Father! That’s what your name means by the way, God has been gracious. I love you my Jax. And also, it was my idea to give you two middle names, you’ll thank me later.
I want you to grow up and be the man God has called you to be and not the man the world may want you to be. It’s easy to make a wrong turn but hard to re-route your journey. I heard this saying before and it has imprinted onto my heart because I believe it, “if you lose your faith, then you’ve lost it all”. Have faith my son through the troubles that come with life, always run back to Jesus even if it’s been a while since you last talked. He always receives us with an open heart, ears, and arms.
Jaxie this is the verse I want for you to imprinted onto your heart, because when I’m gone and not around to give you some advice then it’ll encourage you to keep moving on. Joshua 1:9 “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
I love you and care for you so so much. You’ve truly a bundle of joy, your curlies, your little teeth you like to show off with a smile and when you randomly reach for me to hug me while you sit in your high chair, you don’t know how much warmth those hugs bring to me. A couple of those times it truly felt like you knew it was the perfect time to reach for a hug because God told you I needed one. I love you my son and you will be a great man when you grow up. Me and your mama have prayed over your future and will always pray for you. You are my key to strive for success even harder.
I know I won’t always be here and I hate to think about not being by your side until the end, I love you and will be proud of your future either way just know that.